


Hot Chocolate Whiskey (hiatus over!)

by Clover_Brooks



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cute, F/F, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not too much but not too little, alcoholic yellow diamond, and friends with benefits sometimes, blue is straight at first. just wait, nsfw at some point, only a little homophobia, white is baby no kidding she is like a concerned not insane mother, yellow and pink are best friends, yellow is depressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22588129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover_Brooks/pseuds/Clover_Brooks
Summary: Yellow diamond - Stella Day lilly Remington / Flower ( to white) / jaune (to pink)White diamond - Orchid Remington (thats it, )Blue DImaond- Bleu Oxford LobeliaPink diamond- Hariette / Roz ( to yellow)yellow is an alcoholic/drug adicts at timesblue is a caffeen junkiewhite is obliviouse but cares, she is also sweet and harmlessPink is a drug dealr, yellows FB, yellows only real friend, she is secretly trying to get yellow help.yellow is restless for the hundreth time in a row, she always returns to her balcony, and her mother always brings her back. pink makes sure she doesnt escape reality, and now that blue is in the picture, yellow is quesitoning if she is dreaming constantly.
Relationships: Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 20





	1. how did I become so numb

**Author's Note:**

> OK! its finally done! after two months of struggling, and a ew weeks of contimplating how to write it out. i got the first chapter of many done! i hope everyone here will enjoy this chapter as much as i have when writing it. 
> 
> catch is blue is still questioning her sexuality and yellow is depressed and denys shes gay.
> 
> pink is just there, she will be a semi main character. 
> 
> and yes, her and yellow have a confusing relationship.

It was nearing 5 o’ clock when the stars were starting to fade,indicating that the sun was getting ready to rise. But the darkness overcoming a room on the top floor of the hotel, stood no match for the well adjusted honey eyes staring longingly at the ceiling. Simply gandering, thinking, and even scrutinizing the rough pattern of paint across the bumpy surface of the room. Wondering if maybe it too, was glaring with the same blank stare that it was receiving. Judging softly, as to why this soft being compared to the others, was still awake at this hour. While the other few in the building were fast asleep.

The owner of these tired honey eyes sighed as a thought came rushing in

‘You need to stop thinking inanimate objects are alive, it's very unhealthy, especially when you can't sleep’

But almost like a real life conversation in the patrons head, they responded.

‘ i understand, but it makes me feel less...less..’ thoughts paused, and with a sigh tired eyes broke eye contact with the ceiling

“Grounded..” said a sweet, but gravely word. Passing medium lips, in turn ached in sudden pain. They were dry and cracked, and leaving them in place for such a long time caused them to split once moved.  
Another quick sigh before movement. Light soft sheets were thrown across the bed as the tired owner sat up, jolting as bare feet met cold tile ‘of course they’re dry…’ 

Taking a quick look around the dark room save for the computer screen in the corner, which held a colorful moving screensaver. Once again ignoring the work needed to be done, the eyes landed on the satchel leaning against the right side of the desk.

‘There you are’ in a flash the satchel was lifted up and its insides were emptied onto the pretty clean desk, rough calloused hands sifted through until they touched the small tube, it read ‘ chapstick’ it wasnt flavored, but it was the famous beeswax.

A long sigh of relief as the same hands uncapped the lid, twisted it up, and applied it to dry lips, smiling as the pain from the burning subsided. 

A sniff, a nose rub, and a sneeze later, the contents of the satchel were returned. Not carefully but they were shoved back in. 

After a few seconds of sniffling and looking around, the pair of bare feet walked its way back over to the bed, But only to open a drawer and pull out plain white and grey socks. 

“God.. i need to turn the thermostat up..its freezing..'' The same gravelly voice had spoken before, but it wasn't laced with tiredness like before. 

Soon the pair of bare feet were covered in a cushioned pair of socks, so as not to freeze. 

However, the air conditioning made this being very aware of their bare arms and lower legs.

By this point in time, whomever stayed up made if very clear they did not care.

‘When do you ever Stella’ once more, her inner thoughts had escaped the depth of her mind.

Whether she enjoyed the inner thoughts or not, she made her way out of her room and into the living room, but halted just as she reached the start of the threshold, right at the balcony's sliding glass door.  
Stella stopped, blinked a few more times before looking over to the left, looking out at the night sky, and the multitude of buildings, some of which she knew to be empty.

‘Even this high up, I still feel as though I'm falling..’ stella had thought, just before sliding the door open and walking out.

Thankfully, the socks kept Stella from freezing her feet on the polished wood flooring, but they didnt do anything to stop the gust of wind from chilling her body to a crisp. Sending a shiver up her spine, throughout her arms and legs, and slowly through her sharp intake of air, in turn caused another shiver to commence, as the air around her filled her lungs, of sweet oxigen, but, hastily, she held her breath. 

‘God it's colder than tits out here!’ she screamed in her mind as she wrapped herself in her own arms, and yet again, despite the cold, she moved forward.

Hesitant step by hesitant step, Stella made her way to the railing, a fence of wood with a marble top, patterned in white and black, and some specks of gold trailing alongside the mixture of grey the colors made. Stella even knew, the marble was, no, is freezing.

But did that stop her from uncrossing her arms and leaning over the railing?

No, as a matter of fact, she did, she had uncrossed her arms and leaned over. Gripping the marble top for stability as she gazed down.

“What if i just-”

“Flower, what are you doing up” a soft, gentle voice called out from the doorway.

Stellas framework froze in fear and worry, ‘mom’

She whipped around and smiled reassuringly.

“O-oh i couldn't sleep, plus i had to get up to do some late work. And to add to that, I made some flashcards for Harriette , she needed help.” stella lied

She knew perfectly well that she didn't have late work, nor did Harriette ever need flashcards, she may be a junkie but that didn't make her any less smart.

Like Stella, Harriette was able to complete a test just as fast and get a near perfect score. 

Thankfully the pink haired girl knew when Stella used an excuse such as this, she would back her up.

Her mother took a while to search her daughters eyes, seeing as she could find anything wrong apart from the tiredness, she relaxed, but still persisted on getting the teen inside

“Well, can you at least get off the balcony? Its freezing” her mother said, adjusting the silk robe she had thrown on before holding her hand out for the blonde

“Of course mom..”

Taking her mother's hand in hers, she brought it up to your lips. Gently resting her knuckles against the still dry surface of her own lips, it was comforting for the blonde, and once she pulled her hand away she gently held it to her chin.

Silently convincing her mother she was fine, and only knowing her mother was completely sure when she had let out the faintests of laughs.

“Come, ill fix you breakfast” her mother took her hand and led her inside, closing the door behind stella.

Stella smiled gently at her mother, she was so kind and caring, but so oblivious to her daughters intentions. Risking her own luck, Stella let go of her mom's hand “ let me go get dressed, i should be done by breakfast time” 

Her mother responded, but stella had already made it to her room before the vocal words reached her ears

Once she shut the door and flipped on the light, blurring her vision for a few seconds, she took a good look around.

Her room is messy to say the least, her bed was all over the place, clothes falling out of her dresser, and dirty clothes that missed the hamper by a good two feet.

“Well, we’re going to have to clean this up first…” Stella states as a matter of fact as she had tied her messy short hair into a small ponytail. Or what was assumed a ponytail.

After about 15 minutes, Stella had stepped away to see her old messy room.. Still a mess

‘Aaaaand ill do it later..’ she turned to her organized drawer.

Once again, realizing there wasn't a point in cleaning, she grabbed the cloths she wanted to wear for the day, and walked to her bathroom, taking a quick shower before going to school.

Her first period was one she hated going to, not because of the subject or the teacher, But because of her peers. It never mattered if she was tired, happy, mad, sad, dressed like shit, or dressed for a funeral, she's always going to get picked on. Honestly, she’s had enough of it.

Once Stella was well cleaned she turned off the faucet and hopped out, she never cared if her floors got soaked, or if she slipped, she was a risk taker.

‘Damn good one at that’ she thought to herself as she dried some parts of her body, walking out of the restroom before shivering “fuck! I forgot it was so damn cold!” she rubbed her arms and quickly got dressed

She put on her boxers followed by her socks, then her slacks, belt, sports bra, white button up, and then her suspenders. She had a slender frame and not even her beld could keep her pants from falling down.

“Okay…what els- shoes! Shoes.” she thought out loud, grabbing her hightop convers before grabbing her school back, making sure it had everything in it, phone, wallet, chapstick, phone charger, work from yesterday, medical gloves for some reason, wads of gum wrappers, gum, trash paper, trash, and finally her house keys. 

After everything was there, she sighed looking around, stopping her exhausted stare at her bed, ‘ so warm. So comfy.. Cant i just skip-’

“No, no. we’re going to school today. If not for yourself for roz” she said outloud before turning and leaving her room. 

“ Flower baby, waffles are on the table” her mother said from down the hall, 

“Okay mom thanks.”

She walked over, sitting down, she doesn't usually eat anything until dinner in respect of her mother, but seeing as her mother made the food, she had to eat. Taking bites gingerly, eating this early always made her sick.

Her mother came down the hall, gasping slightly 

“Oh sweetie! Your hair! Its all wet, let me get that for you” before stella had the chance to protest her mother scrubbed her head dry with a clean large hand towel from the kitchen, making stella whine some as her head was wobbled around

“Thanks mom..”

“Of course” her mother kissed the side of her head, “ now do you want me to drive you or do you want to-”

“-ill walk, thank you for breakfast mother” stella got up rather abruptly, her mother looking rather surprised, but smiled nonetheless 

“Alright flower, ill see you when you get home. Oh! Actually i won't, i have to go drive out to helens later today, she wants me to gossip about work again” her mother rolled her eyes and chuckled a bit. Hugging her daughter tightly 

“I love you Stella, have a good day at school okay?”

Stella however was taken back by this hug, slowly but surely she did hug back, sighing as she missed her mothers hugs. “ i love you too mom.. Ill try” she pulled away, letting her arms drop as she went to leave

“Oh, one last thing, stop by the market later will you? I need some cabbage for tomorrow's dinner”

Stella nodded, walking out of her penthouse, down the hall, and practically b-lining it for the elevator, choosing the ground floor. 

Only two floors down and she already blocked out the generic elevator song, replacing it with the now blaringly loud ding that indicated her decent. 

Slowly but surely, stella closed her eyes

‘Today is going to be a busy day..’


	2. early bird gets the worm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the second chapter! sorry that it has taken me so long to deliver this chapter, i got grounded, had school lost motivation, and contimplated giving up, but here it is! i hope you like it and have a great day!
> 
> (please let me know if there are any spelling errors)

BzzT BzzT

Deep blue eyes struggled to focus as the buzzing continued, and with each passing second trying to wake up was a second more for the vibrating phone to fall over the edge of the nightstand, threatening to hit the floor. Possibly break the glass screen. 

However before it could fully fall over the edge and land face first on the ground, a hand had caught it, and just as soon as it was secure, the alarm was silenced.

Following the silenced alarm, a sigh of relief had made its way past medium lips, gentle but well enjoyed, although this feeling of tranquility was a nice part of a morning routine, it was quickly replaced with a sense of dread and not far after a groan of anguish had replaced the air, while those same blue eyes read across the now illuminated screen. Squinting in desperation against the brightness of the smartphone. 

Thankfully, whomever the eyes belonged to were able to read The time. 

5:03, Monday , and a chance of snow.

Yet again, a sigh had passed those medium lips. Only this one is for hesitance. No one likes mondays, and this girl certainly didn't either. But, reluctantly, she clambered out of bed and made her way to the restroom. Quickly using the porcelain bowl, getting rid of the contents of her stomach. Another long night full of work and midnight snacks that weren't quite a good choice.

“ and another day of hard work and horrible habits.” she sighed and whipped her face off , put the toilet paper she used in the porcelain bowl and flushed.

After walking over to the sink, the girl took out her blue toothbrush, followed by the mint toothpaste. A quick rinse with water to wash out whatever reminisce of bile, was quickly replaced by the scrub of bristle against almost perfectly white teeth. After a few minutes, her teeth were scrubbed well enough for the minty mouthwash.

She walked out of the restroom, looking for her clothes she had gotten ready for today, putting them on her bed as she questioned whether or not she would take a quick shower or dress right away and shower after. 

“I'll do both,” she said before once again entering the bathroom.

After at least 30 minutes she exited the bathroom one more time, walking to the foot of her bed. Looking at her outfit, she felt the drops of her still damp hair dripping down her back. Yet she didn’t move or try to dry off her silky hair.

“It would be a horrible idea to get ready and threaten ruining my clothes.” with that, she grabbed a towel and started to lightly dry

Once her hair was now towel dried, she sprayed some detangler in it, followed by brushing whatever knots she may have out, sighing as she felt the brush hit a ratsnest “ hello again.. My enemy..” she tugged and lightly winced as it had pulled some hair out of the back of her head

“Its always at the back, always.” she mumbled before brushing the rest of her hair, grabbing a comb as she had started up some music from one of her favorite artists on her phone

The soft voice of the irish singer soothed her, sometimes she would even join in as she was gently combing her long hair.

After about 30 minutes of getting ready, the teen was done. 

“Finally, your music really distracts me sometimes lisa..” she said as she had shut off her phone after pausing the music, walking out of her room in double breasted pants and a loose fitting blouse. It looked pretty vintage too, with some dark blue flats and even a small necklace that held a blue diamond in the middle of it, 

“It's a gift from grandmother, keep it safe darling bleu” 

Her mother had said it was an heirloom, why her mother didn’t pawn off the blue rock was benounced to her. At the time her mother was sick and needed the money for the house.

“ that was in the past bleu… it's always like father said, past is in the past for a reason, 

Let's keep it that way”

It was sunset and Bleu had mentioned to her father how she had missed her mother, it had been two years since her death, and being the 14 year old she was, she didn't understand how to cope, she’d cry and cry until she couldn't anymore. Threw temper tantrums, and even broke stuff. 

On this day, her father had enough of her sobbing and came in to comfort her, and to both of their surprise, she had cut her hand on the mirror she broke.

“ oh dear, come here little thing,” her father crouched down next to her and took out his handkerchief delicately wrapping it around the shards in the childs knuckles, scooping her up in his frail arms and hurriedly driving to the hospital

‘ i had to get stitches that day… and better yet.. They had to dig into my palm too’ bleu scoffed putting the kettle she used to pour her coffee in her cup at the back burner.

Taking her now warm mug and turning around, leaning carefully on the fake marble surface of the counter. Every now and then, she would take slow, delicate sips of her still hot caffeine, it was very still and silent in her apartment. Not even the neighbors who are normally creating a ruckus were disturbing the peace.

But just as the silence had taken its place in the nearly barren apartment, a loud ringing had made itself known 

“Oh! Shit time to go!” Bleu said as she drank what she could of her coffee before dumping it out, grabbing her backpack, flinging it over her shoulders and silencing the ring of the alarm. 

A few seconds later she was out of the room, locking her door and sprinting down the corridor.

And as her footsteps were heard going down the hall, the silence had left permanently, for the drip of water still fell from the faucet in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was the chapter! hope you enjoyed it! ill try posting a chapter every other week or at least every week, if i dont then its probably because i got busy with school. again sorry about how long i took, and thank you for staying!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for staying so long with me! yes i uploaded a new first chapter you are not going crazy, please let me know if there is any mispelled words i would like to fix things.
> 
> updates about the book here -> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/clover-brooks


End file.
